Friday, June 13, 2008

Pure Evil

And I really mean that.

We have a weed around here. It starts tiny. In fact, just above the "weed" I'm pointing to is a baby one. One started from seed. *shudder*

Back when we lived in town, a mere five years ago, I was blessedly ignorant about this thing. In fact, Gi-gi visited us once, and was horrified when I told her I wasn't sure what was growing along one tomato cage, but it sure was cute the way it wrapped itself up the wire. *double shudder*

She informed me quickly that that wasn't a cute little volunteer flower, but that it was Morning Glory and I better get it out of there quick.

I was actually kinda sad to do it.

Fast forward to Life in the Country. Oh my. This stuff is Pure Evil, and I mean that. What? You plant Morning Glory on purpose? To have those pretty trumpet-shaped flowers? Don't even start with me. This is it's evil ancestor.

I have never dug up an entire root of one (save the little seedlings). Never. I have dug bushels and bushels out of my garden space this year alone. It doesn't take long, digging up Morning Glory before you begin to understand the truth.

The truth is, this is no simple weed. No-o. The reason you can't dig the entire root? They go and go and go.... all the way down to hell. This weed grows from the Pit. It is sustained by the Dark One himself, I'm sure of it. No shovel formed against it shall prosper, I'm afraid. No 2-4-D laced with Roundup will make a dent. After an hour in the sun, I begin to think that spiritual warfare might be as appropriate as my carnal tool. I realize that if I die on this property an old granny, gardening every single year, I will still be fighting the wicked plant with my great-grandchildren.

These roots stemmed from a section of 'old' root less than an inch long. The white ones below were mostly not even above-ground yet.

Oh, and these pictures were taken from my garden area. I didn't bother taking pictures of the front flowerbed or the entire back lawn which is about 100 x 130 feet.

If you live in an area with good weather and no Morning Glory*, please put me in touch with a good realtor asap. Thank you.

*Also, no hurricanes, tornadoes, super-long winters, or large, prolific bugs, please.

1 comment:

MamaJ said...

Ha! You crack me up! You're so organic. I would've gone and grabbed the Round-Up by now, forget all that digging mess!

I think the only place you could get the no-morning-glory-no hurricanes-no-tornadoes-no-super long-winters-combo is in Hawaii. But they do have some large native bugs...