Love Thy Neighbor?

This is a post I drafted before I knew I had offended anyone by the previous posts on the subject. I will reiterate here that my questions are directly dealing with bringing up children, NOT 'how to correct some person or the church in America.' I do not claim to be any shade of qualified to correct anyone -- outside my children, of course. While I realize I may just be "stepping in it" even worse, it is a worthy risk. I think this post has value and I hope it will bring glory to the Lord, even if it only gets one person thinking differently. I am leaving it as I first wrote it, unrefined, poor grammar and all.

The following is a story I made up (all by myself). It's purpose is to get us thinking about what really it means to love thy neighbor.

Jack walks into church on Sunday morning. He loves God, and loves his family. He's not perfect, of course, but he wants to glorify God and help others draw close to him. During the service, he takes the opportunity to share a bit of encouragement on the microphone, where all will hear. His encouragement is punctuated with liberal smatterings of "#@(*&!" and "^&*_@#!" and even "#$%&&^@!" Jack doesn't realize anything is amiss, because in his home and work these words are very common, normal even, and they're just part of expressing his true self. He doesn't mean anything bad by it and his heart really is in the right place.

What should happen here? What would happen? I imagine the pastor or an elder would take the microphone from him with a "We love you brother, but we can't let you say these things." Mothers would be covering their children's ears and fathers would be ushering their families from the sanctuary. Young people would be shocked, older people would shake their heads. Most would have less respect for Jack. At that point or later, the pastor and/or elders would sit down with Jack and explain what is and is not appropriate to be spoken during church, that Jack is responsible for his tongue no matter where he is, but the shepherds are responsible for what is spoken to the flock during such a gathering. Jack would probably be shocked that he had offended in such a way, and wonder why he had not been pointed to the scriptures about this in the past... Hopefully Jack would surrender his tongue to the Lord and turn away from speaking that way, especially in church.

Let's tell another one...

Jill walks into church on Sunday morning. She loves God, and loves her family. She's not perfect, of course, but she wants to glorify God and help others draw close to him. During worship, she enjoys adding her harmonious voice to the music up front, where all are turned. She is wearing a tight-fitting t-shirt under a translucent lace vest (or a dress, or a tank-top, or a mardis-gras costume)** and tight, low-cut jeans (skirt, if you prefer). Jill doesn't realize anything is amiss, because in her home and work and school these clothes are very common, normal even, and they're just part of expressing her true self. She doesn't mean anything bad by it and her heart really is in the right place.

What should happen here? What would happen? Would the pastor or an elder take a blanket to wrap around her with a "We love you sister, but we can't let you be seen like this." Would mothers be shielding their daughter's eyes, or fathers turning their faces and those of their sons away? Would the pastor and/or elders or older women of the faith sit down with her and explain what the Bible says about modesty? I'm sure Jill would probably be shocked that she had offended in such a way, and wonder why she had not been pointed to the scriptures about this in the past... Hopefully Jill would be a more careful steward and work to keep herself from being a stumbling block for her brothers in Christ.

Can you imagine that? I can't, really. I imagine Jill would conclude the worship service while everyone pretended that her choice of clothing was her business. Mothers might hope their daughters don't emulate her, and they might pray their sons aren't affected. Fathers would likely ignore it, because, after all, if they spoke up about the truth of it they'd only further the mindset that men are predatory, sex-crazed creatures that need to learn self-control. Pastors and elders probably wouldn't confront it because it would be "legalistic" -- and hit home for too many in attendance.

Why would these two problems be dealt with so differently? How would we deal with this without breaking the Lord's command to love our neighbor? Does love 'cover' a multitude of sins (and does 'cover' mean overlook or, perhaps, grab for the blanket?), or does it "work no ill to it's neighbor?" Rom. 13:10 ("ill" here defined as 1- of a bad nature (not such as it ought to be) 2- of a mode of thinking, feeling, acting (base, wrong, wicked) 3- morally troublesome, injurious, pernicious, destructive, baneful). Love edifies (1 Cor 8:1). Edifies is also translated as promotes growth in holiness. Do we promote growth in holiness when we ignore this problem (or pretend it isn't one)?

This subject has gone from "how do I explain 'differences in applied Christianity' to my daughter" to "how should Christians be dealing with modesty." Modesty* is a good subject for the conversation, but it's certainly not the only issue in my mind. There seem to be several parallel ones. Disobedient children, young people disrespecting adults, sloth, gossip, the list goes on. The church, and Christians in general, seem to have a pile of "do not touch" issues.. That or we just haven't read our bibles enough to know that they are issues.

My game plan so far:

• Pray - for myself - to be wise, not condemning, nor satisfied with the status-quo; for my children - to learn love without taking on ungodly habits, and lastly for others - that they would embrace God fully and not be satisfied with a lukewarm lifestyle either.


• Work to be an example of holiness (in speech, action, dress - including modesty).
  
• Have an open heart to serve others, maybe even pointing them to search these issues out in Scripture.
  

*I encourage you to go here and peruse some results of Rebelution's Modesty Survey. It was a real eye-opener to me, precisely because this hasn't been specifically addressed in the church at large or anywhere else, that I'm aware.

** This WAS added after posting... I became concerned that while "Jill's" outfit was entirely made up (insert your fictional novel/movie disclaimer: "any similarities to any person living or dead..."), others might not realize it unless I said it outright. There, I said it. :)