I've been thinking off-and-on about modesty, and the many implications of it. My thoughts have centered around the seeming paradox of being modest 'for the public,' while striving to be attractive and sensual for my husband.
This is further complicated by having children at home for whom I'm trying to be a godly example. Please don't misunderstand; affection and attraction for Hubby is a godly example to them, but obviously there are aspects of that which are private. :)
I've run across an excellent post at Pursuing Titus 2 that uses the analogy of the "walled garden" in Song of Solomon to illustrate the point. Stonmasonry (modesty) and gardening (private immodesty) are both important aspects, and we miss it if we are only stonemasons (very modest, but nothing enticing even in private) or only gardeners (always immodest, alluring to any/everyone). The post also offers an idea for managing it with the 'children in the home' aspect. I am glad to read of this (and if anyone has any other ideas, I'd love to hear them) because I have several clothing items that Hubby doesn't want me to be rid of, but that I'm not (any longer) wearing in view of the general public or even our girls.
The comments were interesting as well, one in particular. A woman mentioned that her husband enjoys it when she dresses immodestly when they are out together, that he likes it when "other men are interested in what he has." The author's response was very considerate, but pointed out that it sounded like the husband might be enjoying other men's breaking of the tenth commandment. She also suggested a way to gently broach the idea to her husband, since the commenter wasn't sure how she felt about this.
I don't want to get into what might be the issue with the husband here, but focus more on what we, as wives, are doing. Are we (and by "we," I mean "I") keeping our husbands completely satisfied in intimacy (including dressing in a way that pleases his eyes privately)? Does his heart "safely trust" in us? Are we doing our part to ensure his confidence? Can he look around a room of men and know he is honored and respected as much or more than anyone present? I think that would go far in building security and trust that doesn't need to be boosted by any other man's covetousness.
What do you think?