Thursday, August 02, 2007

Total Circus

This place is getting out of hand. I mean really. How many species of animal should one family have?

The roll call looks like this:

One Man

One Woman

Two Girls

One Unknown

Twenty-something chickens (they're never all where they belong, and it's hard to count them)

Five Turkeys

One Duck

One Rabbit

And as of 2 days ago, Two Kittens. Two little whitish critters that run away and hide. They're somewhat-siamese in coloring, so they're not all white. Thank Goodness.

And as of a few hours ago (as I type this, Thursday evening), One Chocolate Lab Puppy. I feel kinda like that poor lady who was driving on that bridge in Minneapolis, then felt it fall, then was swimming to shore. She had to wonder, "how did I get here? One minute I'm in traffic, the next I'm swimming for my life..." I feel a bit like that, albeit with less horror.

Oh, and the puppy came with (or acquired during it's first few minutes) a tick. But I don't count that as part of the roll call.

How did this happen? What would posess any family in it's right mind to acquire animals such as this? I certainly don't know. I adhere to the "If we can't eat it, we don't feed it" rule, but apparently I'm the only one.

On the upside, Hubby is thrilled. He's long wanted a dog, and I have always pointed out one or more of the following:

1 - We can't afford to feed a dog

2 - I'm busy enough trying to train kids, I can't be trusted to train a dog

3 - It'll eat the chickens

4 - It'll eat the turkeys

5 - It'll eat the duck

6 - It'll eat the bunny

7 - It'll pee on the neighbor's landscaping

8 - It'll do worse to the neighbor's landscaping

9 - It'll get fleas (I didn't think about ticks)

10 - It'll poop in the yard

11 - It'll need vet things, or baths

Well, a friend acquired it on behalf of another friend. The other friend failed to mention to his wife that he had requested this dog. Also, at 7 weeks, this pup could likely eat their existing (full grown) dogs. So the friend's wife laid down the law, and the first friend was in a real bind. The breeder wouldn't take the dog back, and the friend couldn't keep it. So he called.

"You like animals, right?"

"Uh, I like to eat animals..."

"Well, I have this really beautiful..."

Of course, being the submissive wife that I am, I went downstairs to find Hubby and let him know of this "offer." His eyes lit up, and I made him swear that he would take all responsibility for caretaking and training this dog. There is no way I'm adding to my already overwhelmed housekeeping with vacuuming dog hair from the floors and furniture, or, God forbid, Puppy Messes. I'll take care of Kid Messes, you know, eternal glory and all that, but there's not much motivation, eternally or otherwise for dealing with Puppy Ones. And really, until I can make some headway with the Training of Our Children, I can't take on the chore of Training the Dog too.

I am SO getting to pick out the roof shingle color, AND getting my mixer...

3 comments:

Refinnej said...

Ah, where's the picture of Puppy?

Tanya said...

Boy you do have your hands full. I would love to have all of those animals plus some but living in the city and renting, that is not possible right now. Hopefully, hubby does help out with the puppy. The animals are adorable.

EllaJac said...

"Plus some"??? Wow, can't say I understand that... :) Certainly living in town and renting puts stuff like that into the future. I'm grateful to live out here, but it takes a LOT of stewardship and we lack in some of those areas, terribly. I'd love to raise some beef, but until we get our fences in order, and things like that, there's just no way. If dairy cows came with milkmaids, I'd have one already...